Club Monaco sends me this… makes me say wow..

But then I look lower on the ad… and the magic’s gone. (click on link to see entire message)

Rida called me up from the road the other day and asked me to send out an email to her professor. As I was browsing through her inbox trying to find the right e-mail to reply to, I couldn’t help notice what the bulk of Rida’s emails were.

Below is a cropped version of the screenshot from Rida’s inbox after I did what I did. ( Click on the image to see the full version. )

(Oh, and for all the non-south asian people reading this, tutty = shit )

So I’ve always thought the mach 3 turbo power ultra hyperfighting championship edition was a great razor, but I’ve wanted to try something else. Plus, I’ve noticed that coupons and sales only seem to be on the new fusion. So this Sunday, when I was running down to my last razor blade anyways, I was relieved when I saw Gillette’s Fusion – BAM! – right in the coupon section. $4 off a new fusion razor, $2 off cartridges, and $1 off shaving cream. Yes!So I grab these coupons, jump in my car, and hit downtown laurel

CVS had a sale for the actual Fusion Razor for $8.99 so with my $4 off coupon, the price went down to $5. Slickdeal right? well, almost. I went down to Giant afterwards and they had the Razor for $7.99. Damnit! Why earth? Why?! To make things worse, I didn’t get the Gillette Fusion Power razor, just the normal Gillette Fusion razor. And with the complications of the coupon, I can’t just return and exchange. But, I did find the shave in my Fusion to be better than the Mach 3 Power’s so maybe I’m ok stopping here and not jumping on the Power bandwagon. I’m trying to resist my urge to get the Fusion Power because I (along with probably everyone else in the world) can’t help but wonder, “what if the shave can get even smoother?”

There’s also another issue. I bought the Fusion Power cartridges by accident (again, I didn’t realize they brought out a Fusion Power too!). So now I’m like.. uhhh.. what do I do. I can’t return and exchange these either because of the $2 coupon which brought the price down to.. I Think $12ish for 4 – which is weird, becuase.. bear with me here… with the $4 off coupon and sale razor prices, you’re better off paying $4 (after coupon) for a new razor which comes with two cartridges already than… stay with me guys… using a $2 coupon for a pack of 4 blades (which unlike the razor + 2 cartridges, are never on sale) making the price of the blad around $2.50 to $3 a blade.

But the reason I still bought from CVS this weekend was because if you bought the blades from them, you got the shaving cream free (I needed shaving cream anyways), and that saved me an extra few bucks ($3 to $4), and then, I still got to use my $1 coupon off the shaving cream – even though I had gotten it free!

So I think I made out well, except for this whole thing about having fusion power blades instead of regular fusion blades. But since I got two new blades with my new razor, I don’t have to worry about this for another month or so.

Conclusions on the new products – the blade and new shaving cream combination is excellent and I’m not sure which product is more responsible for this better shave, but I’ll try to isolate them over time.

Thank you for listening. As your reward, a hilarious article on Gillete Razors from the Onion. It’s a few years old, but still relevant. (Warning: Explicit content at this link!)

F*** Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades

I thought this was blogworthy – how often do I get a chance to click on this link when I visit weather.com?!

Maybe it’s a marketing gimmick… maybe it’s a prank… who knows. But I did receive this in the mail a few weeks ago.

I was speechless at first. But then I read through the details and this really was a great card. So I applied for it, and I got it, and now, I can finally start the dream business that apparently Advanta knew I wanted to do.

Rida sent this to me this morning:
_____******________********_____
___***______***__***______***___
__***_________****_________***__
_***__________ _**___________***_
_***________________________***_
_*** _________Sorry_________ ***_
__***_______For_Getting______***__
___***_________You_________***___
____***______Pregnant_____***____
______***______________*** ______
________***__________***________
__________****____**** __________
_____________******_____________
____________ ___**_______________

And yes, I have forgiven her.

My e-mail to Shiraz:
To: shiraz
Subject: buy this router – now

your router sucks and on top of that, you’ve lost the password to it. So buy this router instead:

it’s only $62 w/ a $10 rebate. I just bought one myself. you can do a lot of
shit to it to make it better.

Linksys WRT54GL
Wireless-G Broadband Router with Linux
$62.94

Click here for the $10 Mail in Rebate!!

Subtotal $62.94

Shiraz’s Response:

To: Shahryar
From: Shiraz
Subject: Re: buy this router – now

Cool, can you find me a good deal on some rope too? I’m planning on hanging myself this week.

-Cry for help.

___________________________
Shiraz Hussain
J.P. Morgan Securities Inc.
North America Credit Markets

I was so happy to find another email from my Erum Baji about her Bermuda Trip. Sadly, I think this was the last one though. Before you go any further, please make sure you read her earlier emails in my older posts:11.21.2005: My Erum Baji’s Emails
11.22.2005: My Erum Baji’s Emails Pt. 2

As always, the following email is completely unaltered:

From : FATIMA NAQVI
Sent : Friday, November 22, 2002 1:33 PM
To : Shahryar Rizvi, SHIRAZ, Zehra Naqvi
Subject : bermuda chronicles

hey guys,
we are leaving today! how very very sad…..it has
become ver beautiful….I don’t wanna leave……we
walked yesterday for 5km…that was my exercise for
the year……we took lots of pictures…we have to
buy a new bag for all the shopping I did….

maybe I’ll buy a house here..(laugher)

okay gotta go..khalid is calling( like a dog I
respond)
lottas love
ERUM…do you know my name has RUM in it!(hahahhaha)

The critique:

hey guys,
we are leaving today! how very very sad…..it has
become ver beautiful….I don’t wanna leave……we
walked yesterday for 5km…that was my exercise for
the year……we took lots of pictures…we have to
buy a new bag for all the shopping I did….

This email wasn’t as great as the other two, but still has its moments. Again, she’s still hitting [ENTER] at the end of the line because she doesn’t understand the concept of wordwrapping. Her emails continue to just be developing, framented thoughts. I can visualize each thought as a spark in her brain, it’s quite fascinating.

maybe I’ll buy a house here..(laugher)

Never mind that she spelled laughter wrong, I’m not just not sure I get the joke. What’s so funny about her buying a house here? She didn’t really explain. And I’ve known her personally all my life so there’s nothing I can think of which calls for laughter.

okay gotta go..khalid is calling( like a dog I
respond)

I think she’s going for a poetry angle here with the “like a dog I respond.” You know? Like a “I think, therefore I am” type sentence. I’m not sure…

lottas love

Here, she was trying to say “lots of,” but just totally misspelled it. I assume she was trying to shorten it to say “lotsa,” but somehow, she hit an extra “t” and switched the “a” and the “s” around and just never looked back. What a sad spelling mistake though because for those who aren’t familiar with “lottas,” those are the watering pots muslims use in the bathroom.

ERUM…do you know my name has RUM in it!(hahahhaha)

Here, Erum Baji feels that instead of just the first letter, all the letters in her name should be capitalized. (Again, this girl’s a doctor here guys, I have no idea what the hell she learned in school).

And yes Erum Baji, we know your name has the word “RUM” in it.. Contrary to what she maybe implying, Erum Baji’s a good muslim and doesn’t have any rum (or any other alcoholic beverage for that matter) in her. However, if she did, at least we’d have some sort of explanation for these emails.

Sometimes, we all get a little cocky. Maybe we just got a nice new job… maybe we just got a nice new car that has navigation. It could be anything. But there are stupid things that we do when get too proud of ourselves. I think one of the most common things is to change our voicemail greeting to something like, “leave a message” and then straight to the beep. Probably the most arrogant thing you can do.

I once did this. I had a lot going for me, and I said, “it’s time.”

Well, thankfully, my Khalid Bhai came to my rescue and put me back in the place.

Check it out here (thanks Nokia 6170 for the recording capability):

khalid_bhais_leave_a_message_response_voicemail.wav

My voicemail greeting now, after this brutal reminder of who I am now, is the more appropriate: “Hi, you’ve reached Shahryar. You’ve probably reached me in accident so please leave a name, number, and the real person you were trying to reach so I can help you find him or her. Sorry again for getting in your way. Love, Shahryar” Beep!

lol.. I wanted to kill Kashif after getting this message from him. All I did was invite him over for Mario Kart!

I dont like mario games. You know this. Can you not send 3 part text msgs? Its really annoying to read your txts